Faking The O, Or Fucking It Up?

It's finally the weekend. You managed to talk some game and get your beau to come over and things are getting hot and heavy. When it comes time for the “big moment,” you’re left with a big fat eh. You don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings, so you throw some moans and groans their way to make them think you’re really into it. You may think you’re doing them a generous favor, but we’re here to tell you to cut that shit immediately.

Faking an orgasm may feel right in the moment but it is really only hurting one person—you. Why are you doing this to yourself? There are a number of reasons.

You’re bored or tired.

Maybe this hookup is the little engine that could and won’t stop until they get their little gold star for the day *wink wink*. Keep on, keepin’ on, Thomas the tank engine. Buuuuut today you had a midterm, spilled coffee on your favorite shirt, and went to the gym—you’re beat and just want the sweet relief of sleep. Kudos to the hookup for trying so hard, but you just feel like calling it a night. This may seem like a mercy orgasm, but if you pretend to orgasm just to get out of finishing sex, what is going to happen when you're actually ready to go? They’re going to think whatever moves worked when they thought they made you orgasm is gonna be fireworks this time too.

You’ve faked it before.

See? Now, he thinks that he can use the same lame moves he did when you gave the performance of your life last time. If you don’t fake it this time, he’ll be confused, he might even say, “what the fuck, shawty? Thought this did it for ya.” No one wants to answer that, so you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of not cumming. Tragic.

You're worried your taking too long.

Pornos and other societal pressures make it seem like you’re supposed to orgasm on cue. This is simply not the case. Let us not inflate your hookup’s ego so much that he thinks that with one look he’ll send you into a tizzy. You’re not taking too long, what works for your body is what works for your body. Don’t fight it or force it.

They’re close.

Maybe some things are feeling really great, but you’re just not there yet. You were throwing in some genuine moans because it actually felt great, but now you can sense that he’s close. Don’t rush anything just for them, if they were doing something that was working for you, let them know. Tell them to slow it down, and let the good times roll.

You’re into him.

So you’re majorly crushing on your partner, and you don’t want them to be turned off by the fact that you’re not turned on. Do you realize how counter intuitive this is? Get your head out of the gutter! If you’re worrying that he’s going to be turned off because you’re not getting off, it’s time to find a new hookup. Get yours, no matter how much you’re into him. Protecting his ego is doing nothing for your sex life. In the words of the great Christina Yang, “he’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are.” In this situation you’re the sun who cums, so congrats.

Even if this guy is the biggest dreamboat, there’s no reason to cheat yourself out of a good time. If you’re faking it, you’re fucking it up.