Food in The Bedroom | Is That What Rihanna Meant By “Cake”

BY: Deanna Viel

Food and sex are, and rightfully so, the two best things on this planet. So why should they be kept separate?

Some things are so fucking fabulous solely that they need not be coupled together. Take “bacon vodka” for example: everyone loves bacon, and vodka freaking rocks, but last time I took a shot of that I felt like I was going to throw up a breakfast meal I didn’t even eat, and it was awful! So bacon vodka may have been a rare occurrence where standing alone is probably for the best. In the case of the wonderful sex and delicious treats, lump those babies into one!

“But how do you bring food into the bedroom”, one asks. “My boyfriend and I eat Doritos in bed all the time, does that count?”, inquires another.

Let me start simply and say that first off, sweet treats are way easier to incorporate into intercourse than are savory snacks. Sex is sensual and pairs much better with a rich chocolate taste or a tart fruit than it does with a salty cracker or potent cheese. Bringing it into the bedroom really isn’t the hard part; it’s incorporating it in that may be the awkward challenge.

Let me elaborate: many people have heard of bringing food into the bedroom and it is actually even glamorized in the media as being the upmost of sensual, sort of like lighting candles or playing clichéd Michael Buble for the pre-intercourse back massage. I bet your partner wouldn’t’t think twice if you brought up having dessert in the bedroom versus in the kitchen, it’s what you do once you get past the whole “Okay we’re gonna do this” phase of it.

First of all, be natural. Licking whipped cream off of a nipple is definitely different than doing so off of a spoon, but take it for what it’s worth, try not to giggle or act prudish about it. Second, the purpose is not necessarily to “eat” a whole bunch of food, it is more about the taste, and incorporating these sweet tastes into foreplay, so do not scoop out spoonful’s of syrup onto a stomach and then say “well here goes”. Instead, start with a small and “lickable” amount of said syrupy sweet!

Next: the “how.” We get the “why”, because food and sex are both amazing. Now, the “what”, sweet, syrupy dessert components or easy to eat fruits.

Fruits, such as bananas, strawberries, berries etc, that are not super liquidy can be cut into smaller pieces and eaten off of your partner. He or she lies down, you make a nice little Hansel Gretel trail of berries down their stomach, you eat them off, they get a sensation, and you get a nice sweet taste in your mouth for when you kiss. See, both parties win! Plus, because this is “different” and a bit unconventional for your sex life, it will automatically up the arousal.

Another foreplay friendly food option can be found in dessert fixings like syrups or whipped creams. An example with these could be your partner lies down, you spray/place said syrups on their torso and then lick it off. Use your imagination. Once again, it’s sweet, it’s sexy, it’s fun.

So no, Doritos in bed don’t count and the occasional shared piece of gum while making out doesn’t cut it either. If you really want to spice things up with your sweetie in the bedroom, think sweet treats. What’s the worst that could happen? A little chocolate syrup gets all over your bed? Because that’s like a monthly occurrence for me and it’s really not bad.