Four Signs of a Facebook Single

There are plenty of real-world signs to tip you off that someone is single. Some may obsessively text, shamelessly flirt, excessively hook-up, or wear unnaturally revealing clothes one might mistake for lingerie.

Most signs, however, aren’t so blatantly obvious. If you’re wondering when somebody’s searching too hard, the answer is, of course, found through Facebook stalking. Check for these signals:

Flashy Profile Pictures

We’ve seen people taking self-portraits in their bathroom mirror with a melodramatic expression, maybe with words about their “life challenges.” Or it’s a party scene as they fist-pump the night away. These not-so-subtle simple cries for attention don’t always mean people are “desperate,” so check if the person frequently switches between profile pics like this; if they do, they’re desperate.

Corny Status Updates

Preaching ideas of living life to the fullest, finding “the one,”or some sappy song lyrics (possibly from Adele). Bonus points if they include inspirational pictures. These updates serve two purposes:

• Reminding their friends they’re not lonely.
• Reminding themselves they’re not lonely.

Photos of Themselves

See if there’s a stream of Myspace-esque self-photos, whether they took them or forced someone else to. Common ones are from their rooms, in the mirror, in a sassy pose, or wearing swimwear. This shows they want to spread their face around, hoping someone falls in love at first sight.

Some photos are taken overhead while they lie in bed. It’s a direct and slightly sexual sign of…well, desperation.

Taking Facebook too Seriously

“Why didn’t you like my status? You just ignored my comment? And how come you never looked at my pics? What is your problem?!?!”

When people feel like they don’t have enough faith in their real-world relationships, they may turn to their Facebook “relationships” to compensate. But trying to make your life out of what happens on a website comes off as…oh, you know by now.