How To Be A Decent (Enough) Date To Date Night
Photo by Adham Elsharkawi
Fun fact: It's officially hunting season in Central New York. Not interested in the murder of woodland creatures? Forgot your rifle at home? Camouflage isn’t your style? You’re in luck.
It is formal season at Syracuse University. Let the deer live and start hunting for a date.
If you were asked to a formal, date party, semi, whatever you want to call it—congratulations. Someone in the world thinks you’re fun or something. This person is counting on you to hold your liquor and hide your double chin in photos. Whether you’re going as friends, lovers or nothing (shout out to John Mayer), it is your duty to be a good date. Here are some tips to help you not fuck up.
Try not to look like shit.
Unless you’re Beyoncé, you're not going to wake up looking #flawless. Put in a little effort. If you’re a guy, shave. If you’re a girl, shave your legs. Iron your blazer and make sure your Tobi dress isn’t tucked into your underwear. If you get a spray tan, aim for a shade lighter than Otto. Remember to wear deodorant. You don’t have to look like a model, but try to be presentable.
Be on time.
Nothing is worse than a date that shows up forty minutes late to the pregame. Unless you were busy rescuing 28 second-graders from a burning school bus, there is absolutely no excuse to be late. Avoid this issue by getting a ride to your destination together. Isn’t that what pledges are for afterall?
Pics or it didn’t happen.
If a girl goes to a formal and doesn’t get a candid Instagram out of it, was she ever really there? Guys typically don’t care as much about this one. Actually, most guys hate pictures. But if your date wants to take five thousand photos of you two laughing at nothing—let her do it. As for the ladies—I fully understand how important this is, but try to end the photo shoot before your date wants to smash your iPhone.
Don’t drink too much.
It's no coincidence that alcohol and asshole have the same number of letters. *pause while you take a moment to count* Don’t be that person who doesn’t even make it past the pregame. Remember that there is going to be an open bar and you’re definitely going to order a Long Island. So try to keep your count of pregame shots in the single digits. Drinking with your date is fun. Holding your date’s hair back is not.
Practice basic social skills.
When your date runs off to the bathroom for eight hours with her BFF, you need to talk to her friend’s boyfriend about sports until they get back. Don’t make it weird. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know. Be polite to that girl you hate cause she banged your ex. Don’t ditch your date to grind with a rando. When all else fails, just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
The morning after the event, your date is going to wake up thinking one of two things: that was the best night ever or that was a total fucking disaster. If you shoved a beer bottle into the toilet at the venue and flooded the place, chances are it didn’t go well. If you followed these rules and didn’t act like a complete dildo, you’re in the clear. Happy hunting.