How to Be That Annoying Person Who Loves Christmas Way Too Much


11_7_RealTalk It’s officially November, which means one thing: Christmas is less than two months away and your life is about to be bombarded with all things green. You’re going to see Christmas trees put up in the mall — I mean, you probably already have... I saw Christmas decorations in Macy’s before I could even put on my Halloween costume last week.

You’re going to start hearing Christmas songs on the radio. You’re going to sing your heart out, not because of looming finals, but because you’re thinking about all the quality time you get to spend with your family. If you hate Christmas, I’m sorry (also, what’s wrong with you?), but below are my steps to becoming the person that everyone secretly (or openly) loves to hate, aka the person who starts counting down to Christmas on December 26.

1. Sing Christmas songs everywhere. You've got to deck the halls and Fa-La-La wherever you go, so start singing those Christmas songs starting November 1. If you really want to irritate someone, start singing them in the middle of the summer when you’re a sweaty and hot mess. Fourth of July is a good day. Everyone’s feeling festive anyway, so why not (annoyingly) get them in the Christmas spirit?

2. Don’t ever shut up. Talk about Christmas to anyone and everyone that will listen. Talk about your favorite Christmas movies (mine are The Holiday and The Polar Express). Talk about your plans for Christmas break (watch Christmas movies, eat, watch Christmas movies, and eat some more). Emulate Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf. If you don’t know who or what movie I’m talking about, then you’re obviously not annoying enough.

3. Hate on Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong, I like Thanksgiving. It’s a holiday meant for stuffing your face and spending time with your family. But Thanksgiving is b-o-r-i-n-g. There are hardly any good movies about Thanksgiving. After doing a quick Google search, the highlights I came up with were A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, but when has a movie with Charlie ever gone wrong? He’s got every holiday covered. There are also hardly any memorable songs about Thanksgiving. So if you really want to annoy those Grinches out there, hate on Thanksgiving, because usually the people who love Thanksgiving feel lukewarm about Christmas. Suckers.

So above all else, flaunt your Christmas-loving flag high. No one should be ashamed of their Christmas love. They instead should feel sorry for the sad Grinches out there who don’t. Plus, has anyone seen the Grinch? Do you really want to look like that because all of your Christmas hate? Trust me, it’s not a good look.