Mayfast, Die Young
Something strange happened recently that caused me to stop in my tracks and completely reassess where I stand in life: it was an idle Thursday afternoon and the Crouse bells seamlessly segued from “The Alma Mater” to Zedd’s “Clarity.” There’s no denying it. Mayfest is near.
As a naïve freshman, I know close to nothing about Mayfest. However, as an avid follower of music festivals, and everyone’s favorite fashion columnist, I am here to bestow my knowledge of all things deemed trendy upon you.
The radical weather we experience in Syracuse is essentially a manifestation of the inconvenient truth that global warming is real. Somewhere Al Gore is laughing at all of us since we can probably expect another foot of snow within the next week. Needless to say, we all should take proper protection against the hole in the ozone layer. Sunglasses are a necessity, but they should be strictly worn as a hair accessory. I mean, it’s not like you really want to see A$AP Ferg anyways.
Although I’ve heard Mayfest is the best weekend of the year, I’m still skeptical that this will live up to a real life music festival. A flower crown is the only surefire way to delude yourself into thinking that maybe you’re actually in some Californian desert and not the frozen wasteland that is Syracuse. Go ahead, listen to the Hillary Clintons or some other band that I’ve probably never heard of…it’s fine.
High-waisted shorts are the only way to pull off a crop top on this glorious spring day while also effectively hiding your beer belly. You’re welcome.
The core Mayfest outfit for guys is as follows: frat tank, J. Crew shorts, Sperrys, and sunglasses. As far as Mayfest goes, there are only four things to keep in mind: sun’s out, gun’s out and sky’s out, thigh’s out. Follow those two cardinal rules and I promise you can do no wrong—and you’ll have plenty of gals begging to shotgun with you.
If you don’t have a #ravefamily by now, you’re probably doing something wrong. No worries, you can still look the part at Block Party with a DIY tutu, stacks of kandi bracelets, and as little clothing as possible. Follow these steps, and you will have a #ravefamily of your own in no time. Thank me later, because this is the only look that will get you through the night.