The Proposed New Chuck’s Replacements

As many of you have already heard, the building that houses Chuck’s, Funkin Waffles, and the beloved corner store will be torn down in the near future to make way for a new apartment building. Another apartment building that hikes the price of a tiny studio over any reasonably affordable college student rent is about to replace a campus institution. This heartbreaking news has posed many to ask the question, WTF?? Another apartment building? There are so many other things that could go in that space to benefit the student community! We’ve explored the alternatives and studied the surrounding area, and through a very scientific method have come to this list of more useful replacements at 727 Crouse Ave.

A Grocery Store

Do you know how convenient this would be? This way people wouldn’t have to schlepp all the way over to Tops on South Campus. Done with class at Marshall Square Mall? Head over to the grocery store on campus to pick up dinner! Genius.

A Roller Rink

Who doesn’t love a roller rink? NO ONE! This would literally be so fun. A few drinks at happy hour and then a quick spin around the rink? This would lead to some twisted ankles but a lifetime of fun.

An Applebee’s

Please.

Targé

Looking for a cheap throwaway crop top for tonight and some power tools? Target would have you covered. Target has literally everything; it would be a beacon of light in this tundra we call home.

Movie Theater

This may seem far-fetched for the space we’re working with, but how awesome would this be. You could WALK to the movie theater! It’s right next to a CVS, too, so you could pick up some cheap snacks before heading in.

Chuck’s

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. You can knock everything else down and just build the apartment building around the famous beloved bar. It would save everyone a lot of heartache and sad, nostalgia-filled nights.

They can take our Chuck’s, but they will never take our freedom! – Braveheart, I’m pretty sure.