Safe Choking 101


Ever asked someone to choke you, only to have them limply rest their hands on your jugular like a weak handshake? Or have you been eager to be the one to choke your partner, but terrified you’re going to leave the lucky recipient unconscious? Jerk’s got you covered. Send your boyfriend/girlfriend/fuckbuddy/that guy you occasionally break dry spells with this article, and hopefully you’ll start gasping for breath out of pleasure real soon. 

How To Do It 

First things first, ask your partner if they want to be choked. Even if you’ve had sex before, even if they’ve said they wanted it done before, this is not a move to make without warning!  

In order to properly choke your partner, you have to apply pressure to the carotid artery. The carotid artery runs down the throat to the chest; the point that you want to strike is slightly below your partner’s jawline, closer to the ear than the chin. Apply light, pulsing pressure; remember, the throat is a sensitive area, so it’s important to be gentle.   

Do not increase pressure or duration of the choke, especially if it’s you or your partner’s first time trying this. Maybe designate certain gesture or verbal cues (like a safe word) for your partner to use to increase or decrease pressure.  

While you gently press on both sides of the neck, you can guide your partner’s head to the side using their jawline.  

Make sure not to lean into the choke too much; your partner’s throat is not made to support your body weight. Making smoldering eye contact while choking is arguably more important than the act of choking itself, so look into your partner’s eyes – think sexy, not like you would when smirking at that person you may or may not know from a distance on the promenade.  

How Not To Do It 

Never go in with a tight grip or forceful pressure; you can always press down a little more firmly if your partner asks or gestures for you to do so. Use your palm to avoid hitting your partner’s windpipe, and do not pull your partner’s neck to the side while choking them. If you want your partner to move, use their legs or arms; do not try to pull their neck upwards to move them. You may not be in the mood for common sense right at this moment, but you gotta use it anyway.  

And that’s it! As with any sex act, communication is key when it comes to choking.