Sexting: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Sexting: one of the virtual communications world’s greatest inventions. Sexting gives you the power to not only talk about your weird-ass fantasies, but to talk about those weird-ass fantasies with someone else — and not have to say it face-to-face.

What I love about sexting is that it’s so empowering. You can take on this alter ego and talk about some of the freaky shit you would never have the balls (no pun intended) to even half-say in person.

With that being said, there are certain pros of sexting that make it more appealing if you haven’t tried it yet.

1. Getting someone else off, getting yourself off, and sometimes both! It’s like sex, but without touching. It’s mutual masturbation. It’s fun, and you just go with it.

2. Looking to mend the gap in a long-distance relationship? Cue sexting — the best way to connect even from afar, if you both crave intimate, sexual bonding and don’t want to hop on a plane. Thank the almighty we conveniently have electronic devices at our disposal to send our innermost and dirtiest thoughts. It makes it very easy to stop and go.

3. Feeling the big O virtually. Today, I felt empowered through sexting. It was my fantasy, my perspective, my words, my rhythm — despite how there were the few times when he interjected with, “I can’t wait,” or, “Not really my cup of tea.” So even though I was driving the bus, I got instant feedback from my partner about what was good for him, and what wasn’t — a little instant feedback never hurt nobody. I could anticipate his needs through the flow of the story I was writing. It became co-created, like all good sex is, rather than me simply telling him about the myriad of sexy activities that I would like to share with him in person (if only).

There are, however, definitely some cons to sexting:

1. Some people use sexting as a way to cheat, or as an ersatz intimacy. In my opinion, sexting with someone else is cheating if you are in a committed, monogamous relationship. If you want to be in a relationship with someone there is a certain level of openness and honesty that should come with that relationship, and keeping your dirty little secrets in your iPhone’s inbox is hardly honest.

2. One person tends to drive the conversation. I suppose this also happens with sex, so maybe this isn’t necessarily a con of sexting, but when it is truly one-sided, it becomes awkward, and awkwardness is certainly never a pro.

3. Your nudes on Tumblr are not cute. If you send pictures or videos, which I don’t (okay, at least not all the time), they are liable to wind up on the world wide web, on your friend’s friends’ phones — or worse, exposed on the internet (too soon, JLaw?). If you are not emotionally and psychologically prepared to show your goods to the world, maybe ease away from sending nude pics. The only fool-proof way to prevent pictures of your ass from being pasted all over the internet is to not send pictures of your ass to anyone. And trust me, no one wants to see my ass.

Now that we have dissected sexting for its pros and cons, let’s talk about how it has had an impact. Has it made your relationship better? Leave a comment. Let’s have a conversation.