Ten Things to Expect When You Date an Older Guy

Looking around your college campus, sometimes it may feel like your options are limited to frat boys in bucket hats who coyly and without avail attempt unsolicited grinding at parties. It might be a challenge selecting a partner not totally awful from the college fishpond, which is why many of us shoot for men with less frat shoes and more #maturity.

Dating an older guy can have all the fantastical elements that a 50 Shades of Grey novel has (without the obscene BDSM)—better sex, a feeling of security, and a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to show it. However, when you date someone older—and we’re talking at least five years older, there are some realities that you should accept before moving into a serious relationship.

1) Your tastes in art might be different.

Megan, 21, says, “My boyfriend is 8 years older than me and he plays the Tom Petty Buried Treasure station and makes me guess who the older classic rock artists are.” You likely grew up listening to different things and his tastes in music, art, movies and TV will, in result, be different.

2) He may love Jeopardy (and other non-reality TV shows).

Ashley, 22, says, “My boyfriend insists on watching Jeopardy all the time, even though he’s thirty and not seventy.” You don’t have to date an actual old man to be dating someone with the tastes of an old man. Late night game shows might have your man more interested than video games, so take the bad with the good.

3) The sex will be better.

Older guys are likely to have more experience. Kate, 20, says, “He actually takes his time in trying to make me orgasm and he just appreciates vaginas more. Like he loves going down on me and is really good at it.” With greater age comes greater cunnilingus.

4) He may last longer.

An older man just knows how to contain himself. Michala, 21, says, “He lasts much longer than the guys my age I’d been with before. It’s not just a couple pumps and then he’s done, it actually lasts long enough for me to orgasm.” We salute your boyfriend, Michala.

5) He won’t be as sex crazed.

With better sex also comes the notion that they don’t have to have it all the time like a sex-crazed teenager. Amy, 20, says, “He can have sex just once and he’s good. We’ve even gone a couple days without sex and that’s the norm.” Sometimes it’s nice to not be berated with morning wood every day.

6) He’s over porn-star level expectations.

Kristen, 22, says, “I can pretty much rock full hair down there and he’s okay with it. I don’t have to shave everything because he knows what a real woman’s body looks like and isn’t afraid of it.” Who doesn’t love a man who isn’t afraid to let a woman be a woman?

7) He will take care of you.

The great thing about older guys is that they’re well established by their late 20’s. Because of this, they are probably more financially secure and actually might enjoy paying. Alison, 22, says, “My boyfriend loves to take me out and to pay for me because he likes making me feel secure, and he knows I’m still a student.” Even if you can take care of yourself just fine, it’s always nice to feel safe.

8) Different short-term goals

Although there are some big bonuses to dating an older guy, you can’t ignore the fact that you’re at two different points in your life. Christina, 20, says “Sometimes I feel like I’m holding him back because he’s at the age where all his friends are getting married and having kids and I’m so not at that point in my life yet.”

9) Difficulty connecting with his friends.

Marissa, 23, says, “It’s hard for me to get along with his friends because all they talk about with one another are their jobs and credit scores and it’s all so much.” Just because you can connect with your boyfriend on the same level, doesn’t mean it’ll be easy when his friends are all 28 year-olds working full time jobs.

10) Family may not be into it

Some parents just aren’t into their son dating someone who’s still in college or at least 5 years younger. Theresa, 21, says, “My boyfriend’s mom thinks it’s weird that we’re dating because she wants him to get married and have kids and she feels like I’m holding him back.” Some of his friends and family just might think the difference in age is too much and that you’re too young for him. Likewise, your friends and family may not be completely on board with your relationship either.

Some say that age is just a number, but sometimes it isn’t. Often an older man can be exactly what you need. There are obvious things about your difference in age that should be considered before you go on the prowl, and as long as your aware of them, you’ll be fine (so long as long as you don’t call him “daddy”).