The Week: What You Missed

Sunday, April 24 | A man dressed as a clown and riding a tiny bicycle gets three years in the slammer after being convicted of conspiracy, impersonating an immigration officer, and attempted extortion. Definitely turned that smile upside-down.

Monday, April 25 | Under the category of the most important things America should be caring about, Sammi and Ronnie broke up again.

Tuesday, April 26 | News to us: Jesus is coming on May 21. (photo: nymag.com)

Friendster announces that it’s officially deleting all user content next month. It’s about time. #MarkZuckerbergWin

Syracuse is hit by a monsoon for approximately one hour, and SU’s Orange Alert system warns us to take cover. Meanwhile, some kid kayaks down Euclid.

Wednesday, April 27 | A frat at UPenn that went to a petting zoo and rented a camel for its Spring Fling was cleared of camel molestation.

Husbands in Tajikistan can divorce their wives by simply sending them a text message that says “Taloq taloq taloq,” which translates as “Divorce divorce divorce.” Next up: divorce via post-it notes.

Thursday, April 28 | Wal-Mart stopped selling hunting rifles and bullets at most of its stores five years ago. Now, the world’s largest retailer is bringing them back to hundreds of locations and part of a push to restore “heritage categories.” Guns: so vintage.

Deadly tornadoes ravage the south, leaving hundreds dead. At least 285 people across six states died in the storms, with more than half — 195 people — in Alabama.

Friday, April 29 | The day we’ve been waiting all year for: Mayfest. We were hungover by the time Kid Cudi finally came on stage at Block Party.

Prince William is officially off the market (screw you, Kate Middleton). Check out her Alexander McQueen dress from every angle.