Things You Need to Do Before Graduation
By Emma McAnaw
We may be in denial, but it’s going to happen: we all will graduate. Just mentioning this to seniors causes them to plunge head first into a panic attack. These are the best four years of our lives; it will never again be socially acceptable to sleep until one in the afternoon or go out every night. The real world is not nearly as fun as SU, your boss will not accept the excuse “I’m too hungover” when you don’t show up to work. So make sure you live your college experience to the fullest. Here’s a list of things every Syracuse University student should do before graduating:
1. Hit all the bars on Marshall in one night. Clearly this is something that only seniors can do, since the bouncer at Lucy’s will laugh in any underclassman’s face. Go to the bars in order of exclusivity, for nostalgia. Start your night at DJ’s and chug a pitcher of Cuse Juice—you’ll need to be drunk to enjoy yourself in the swarm of horny freshmen. After DJ’s, make the slight step up to Harry’s, and hit on all the townies. Next, to the grown-up bars: Lucy’s and Chuck’s. Since these are both only available to upperclassmen, the order doesn’t matter. Remember, you may have to be older to get into these, but these bars are still less classy then the ones you’ll have to go to after graduation. Take advantage of being a student and feel free to get as drunk as you’d like.
2. Go drunk sledding. Take advantage of the fact that we live on a campus that is always covered snow. The best place to drunk sled is Crouse Hill, and it’s probably best to not be completely wasted while doing this to avoid any unfortunate vomiting incidents. Don’t have sleds? Just take the dining hall trays. That’s what they’re there for anyway, right?
3. Camp out for a basketball game. Show your school pride by freezing your ass off the night before a basketball game. It’ll be worth it the next day when you’re sitting close enough to the court to (attempt to) hit on your favorite basketball player. You’ll probably even meet that guy who’s always covered head to toe in neon orange.
4. Pull an all-nighter in Bird. Okay, this one isn’t fun but every student should know what it feels like to spend all night at Club Bird. The quiet room in the basement is the best place to do this. No one can watch you chug three large cups of coffee and experience several mental breakdowns. If you graduate college without ever pulling an all-nighter, you either didn’t actually do all your work or are annoyingly organized.
Did we miss anything? Share your must-do’s in the comments below or tweet us @jerkmagazine.