What I've Learned From Working at The Syracuse Gym


This semester I began working at the Syracuse gyms, and after many long hours in the Women’s Building weight room, the Brockway basement, and at the Ernie front desk, I’ve learned a few things that the entire community should be aware of. If you were ever looking for an excuse not to work out, read further. 

Never Trust a Shiny Machine 

My motto now, and forever, is assumed dirty, unless proven clean. You have no idea what the glisten on the elliptical handle is until you grab it, so let’s not take the chance. I can tell you Syracuse students do not always remember to wipe-down the machines after they use them. I’m truly afraid of how fast germs can spread in those gyms. Sweat goes flying.  

HUUUGE Arms (and nothing else) 

If there’s one thing that boys at Syracuse do not know, it’s what leg day is. They’re all about the biceps and triceps but those calves ain’t exactly poppin… For some reason the majority of guys that linger throughout the gym – whether they’re frat stars or gym ~newcomers~ - are upper body fiends.     

Weight Room Realities 

Although most of the occupants of the weight room are bulky boys, there are some boss ass bitches getting swole in there. Some guys even have the audacity to ask a woman if she needs help with her squats – clearly she’s ten times stronger than you and jamming out to music in her zone. I respect the hell out of anyone who’s lifted because I have never used the weight room ever in my life. But after some long shifts at the Women’s Building in awe over these powerhouses, I feel like I could use every machine pretty successfully. I’m basically a lifting champion by osmosis.  

Osmosis Isn’t a Thing 

That being said, there is no such thing as exercising by watching people. Shame. Working at the gym does not equate to working out at the gym. I’ve worked two or more shifts a week since school started but I have yet to actually complete a workout. So much for my New Year’s Resolution... On the plus side, I look fantastic in the neon green uniform! Gatorade yellow might not be everyone’s color, but it’s definitely mine.