When Sex Hurts


Design by Jena Salvatore Who doesn’t love sex? It's a great way to get intimate with your partner on another level or just a fun way to pass the time when you're procrastinating studying for that psych midterm. The thing is, though, that not everybody enjoys sex all the time. Sometimes it hurts, and not just exclusively when you are losing your virginity. It's hard to imagine, since vaginas are badass bitches that are able to dilate wide enough to have a human head slide through them. But sometimes you might find yourself cringing in pain when anything comes close to your vag.

Here are a few possibilities of what might be going on down there:


  • Sex is physical exercise, so anytime you go without doing it for a long time, it can be more difficult (a.k.a. provide more discomfort). It varies for each person of course, but it's still possible for your muscles to tighten a bit if you've gone a while without intercourse.
  • Maybe it's still your hymen! It's possible to have remnants of your hymen left even after losing your virginity. This can be a reason for why sex might be painful the first couple times you have sex, but maybe rule this reason out if it's been six long years of uncomfortable sex.
  • Maybe it’s who you're having sex with. Your partner may be doing something in the bedroom (or frat basement... we don't judge) that's just not pleasurable to you or your vagina. It's important to communicate what you like and don't like to help improve your sexual experiences. A bit of creative experimentation is a good way to find out how you most enjoy about sex. One good way to get started on finding out your likes and dislikes is masturbation.
  • Probably the most common reason is that you are just too tense! You go a long time without having anything penetrate your innards, so understandably it's kinda weird when this changes. Whether you're tense because of nerves, or just because you just tend to tense up your muscles, it's important to relax. You’ll enjoy it much more.

The best way to have more pleasurable sex is relaxation. If you are comfortable with the person you're having sex with, chances are, it'll be easier to ease your muscles. Foreplay is important, as well, because if you are already turned on, it will be way easier to stick that P in your V. Try having more sex! Getting used to the idea of another person or toy inside of you might make it more comfortable the more times you do it. However, if the pain is unbearable…don't. It's important to see a gynecologist and get a professional opinion if you think that your pain stems from a more serious problem, like a U.T.I. or a cut.

We wish you a lot of fun in turning those "ouches" into "oooh yeah's."