Don’t Fall For Rom-Coms This Season

Scrolling through “Relationship Tok” and endless fall-themed couple posts, you are probably wondering why the heck your Ryan Gosling-Emma Stone moment hasn’t happened yet. You’re wondering why John Cusack hasn’t stood outside your dorm-room window serenading you with a boombox. You’re even wondering (although you don’t want to admit it) if you’ll be the next Bridget Jones to your very own Daniel Cleaver.

We’ve been there babe, seriously, and we feel your pain. But it’s time to realize that these broken-record male gaze tropes are not it. Time to trash the overplayed narratives that create unrealistic expectations and instead set new and attainable goals worthy of your attention.

The first order of business is realizing that a story arc consisting of a dude being rude and ~untamed~ at the beginning, realizing he wants love in the middle, screwing up his chances at love during the climax by being a narcissistic douche, and then dramatically deciding to commit at the end is just not cute anymore. We can’t reward this behavior. And we don’t claim this energy.

Let’s stop falling in love with women written by men and their nauseatingly predictable counterparts, shall we?

We’re not asking you to quit the rom-com cult behavior altogether because cruelty is not in Jerk’s nature. All we’re saying is dump the bare-minimum expectations that so many rom-coms put on a pedestal. Instead, choose ones that set more realistic, yet just as swoon-worthy, standards.

Let’s take Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You, for example. While Stiles’ character does fall for Ledger’s antics (we would too, don’t worry), she maintains her academic drive and queen energy that every girl wants to practice in their daily lives.

And the “chase” is so overrated. No one should be viewing women as something to be obtained. If someone wants to sweep you off your feet and fund your eight-dollar oat milk latte on the daily, you have our blessing. Just don’t fall into the trap of mistaking immaturity for boyish charm and expect to have a rainy smooch sesh like Rachel McAdams in The Notebook. We just KNOW she was cold and uncomfy during that scene, not to mention risking a lightning strike. To be fair, can’t say we would have practiced restraint in this situation either. But it’s the thought, right.

And lastly, let’s refrain from applauding the Peter Kavinskys of the world for departing from the norm by being nice to women. That should be a given, not a goal. The bar is hella low, so raising it (and keeping it there) should not be this difficult.

In the wise words of Lizzo, “I don’t play tag, bitch I been it.” And you are it, babe — so pinky promise us to prioritize yourself above all and stay strong this cuffing szn.