5 Common Sex Fumbles and How to Recover From Them


Print Sex is sex — it’s messy, there are limbs flying everywhere and some experiences (or people) are better than others. It’s a given that things can, and will, go wrong. Instead of letting a random mistake turn into a brutally awkward moment, pull your self up, get back on your horse, and keep on ridin’. Here’s a list of the most common sex-fumbles and more importantly, how to recover from them.

Fumble #1: You’re both condomless. Everyone wants to get laid, but whether you’re prepared or not is a different story. Whether you left a condom in the wrong wallet or you just expected the other person to have one, a no-condom situation can be a total buzzkill.

The Recovery: Just fucking carry a condom, at ALL TIMES. Hey, sometimes the best things in life happen unexpectedly and as the Boy Scouts say, be prepared. While you always have the option of resulting to some third-base stuff, would you really even want to be left with just that? Your future self will thank you.

Fumble #2: He can’t get it up. Everything’s going as planned, there’s been a sufficient amount of foreplay, the anticipation is just about to kill you and then… it becomes a major flop (pun intended). Nothing’s more of a literal cockblocker than a penis that just refuses to get hard. You had one job, dick…

The Recovery: You have to work for the things you want, so take matters into your own hands (literally) and make sure you give that soldier something to rise to.

Fumble #3: It accidentally entered the wrong "door." Sex is intense and in the midst of all that bumping and grinding, things tend to get a little like a Slip 'N Slide. More often than not, your "rabbit" might just run down the wrong "rabbit hole" or you might be on the receiving end of that. To put it simply, surprise butt sex, anyone?

The Recovery: For some, since you’ve already gotten that far, why not go all the way? Sex should be about trying new things and as long as you’re both comfortable with it, why not? On the other hand, you could always just backtrack from the wrong lane and keep it moving on the right track. Just be swift and nonchalant about it and keep on cruisin’.

Fumble #4: You bump heads. From missionary to doggy style, trying out different sexual positions is a great way to keep things interesting in the bedroom. With all that sexual Twister going on, minor physical run-ins may happen (and we don’t mean the sexual kind) — you guys might just knock heads (and sometimes, pretty hard too).

The Recovery: Unless your partner’s suffering from a serious concussion and/or passed out, in which we suggest you definitely stop and probably call 911, just laugh it off. Sex is not black and white and sometimes, stupid fumbles happen. Just get right back to it. Or maybe, if you enjoyed the subtle pain, take a 50 Shades cue and throw in some BDSM.

Fumble #5: One of you finished too soon/are taking too long. Everyone functions at different pace and that’s certainly no different when it comes to sex. Some people like it slow and steady (sometimes, too slow) while others may get over-excited and the ride may be over before it even begun.

The Recovery: Sex is not a solo act, and while you might be focusing on your own getting-off, don’t forget that there’s someone else involved too. If you have a problem of finishing too soon, do your best to hold it out. Trust me, it’ll feel 100 times better when you actually do climax. Vice versa, if your partner takes too long, see that as a challenge to get him or her off and whip out some extra sex tricks.

As with everything in life, don’t take things too seriously — just saddle up and enjoy the ride. Yeehaw!

Art by Shawna Rabbas