5 Things That Are Only Acceptable at College Bars


liquor-bottles College bars are their own animals with their own sets of rules. There are certain things that are acceptable in college bars but have absolutely no place in the real world, so please, enjoy these while you can.

1. Peeing while the person in the next stall is puking. As a general rule, throwing up from drinking isn’t acceptable after the age of 23. You shouldn’t be encountering people doing it as often, but apparently being a college student overrides all responsibilities. College bars are the only places where people are totally unfazed with going into dirty bathrooms, only to find someone puking in one stall, and illegal drug use in the next.

2. Buying shots for the whole crew. Want to look like a hot shot for that cute girl in your chemistry class? Just buy her a shot, and some for all of your friends that you went to the bar with… and all of her friends. We’ve all had those nights when we feel like Oprah giving out shots — you get tequila, and you get tequila, and you get tequila! While this is a very kind gesture, it needs to stop after graduation. Nobody will be impressed by you buying a whole round of cheap shots. Try bottle service instead.

3. Throwing your jacket into the pile in the corner. In the real world, people use these things called “coat checks.” It’s a worthwhile investment where you pay a few dollars to make sure your jacket is secure. Sound pretty radical? You can’t go your whole life banking on Becky knowing the best places to hide your jacket. The use of a coat check also eliminates the need for a jacket you only wear to the bars because you don’t care if it gets lost.

4. Getting into a fight because someone bumped into you. We get it, bars get crowded. There will always be someone who accidentally bumps into you and spills some of your drink, but that’s no reason to get into a fight. Once you graduate college, fighting is no longer a way to show how tough you are, but rather, it’s a pathetic and immature thing to do. If everyone just used their manners and said words like “excuse me” and “thank you” we wouldn’t have to worry about this problem, but #college, right?

5. Wearing sweats. This one is barely acceptable for college bars, but it’s definitely a no-go for post graduation nights out. Even if you’re just grabbing a drink at the pub below your apartment, you need to put some big boy pants on. Wearing sweats to a college bar is okay because, well, who gives a fuck. On the other hand, wearing sweats to a real bar will make people question whether or not you have a job.

Real TalkRaf Stitt1 Comment