8 Ways to Spice Up Your (Sex) Life
1. Stop faking it immediately. You probably wouldn’t say you had a blast on your date if it was actually a complete bore, so why lie in the bedroom? If you want more exciting sex, don’t pretend to like something that doesn’t actually excite you. You should never fake an orgasm. That thing he was doing wrong—he’s going to keep doing it. Instead, let him know when something feels amazing, either by speaking up or engaging in some pretty obvious body language. That way, there’s no confusion about what you really like in bed. Also worth noting: great sex can exist without an orgasm.
2. Ignore your instincts. The stereotype that men are the only ones who crave something new in bed is so false. In fact, research shows women are even more likely to want sexual novelty. Satisfy the urge by doing something totally outside your sexual script, like making a sex bucket list, getting busy in another room (besides your dorm), having sex before class in the morning, or even heading to a hotel for a distraction-free hookup.
3. Play up the fantasy. So how do you bring up the fact that you want to try a new position or light bondage? Put the thing you’d like to do into the context of a sexy fantasy or dream that involves your partner. For instance, you can tell him or her that you had a crazy-hot dream about shower sex last night, or that you can’t get this Fifty Shades style fantasy out of your head. He’ll definitely get the hint.
4. Match your position to your mood. Just like your dates range from romantic to passionate, your hookups should, too. Depending on the mood you’re in, get creative with your sex style. Craving emotional intimacy and eye contact? Go with Missionary. Feel like ripping each other’s clothes off the second you get home? Opt for Upstanding Citizen against a wall. Ready to take control? Hop on top for Reverse Cowgirl. You get the idea.
5. Put it in your iCal. We know, scheduling sex—ugh. But even just giving yourself a mental heads-up can put you in a sexy mindset all day long. Just think about all the anticipation leading to the big bang, right? Whether it’s wearing hot new underwear all day or texting your partner something you’re dying to do later, these little rituals can act as extended foreplay.
6. Dress the part. Use pop-up Halloween stores to your advantage, and pick up a few sultry accessories or even a full outfit. Putting on a totally different persona (whether it’s with a blonde wig and thigh highs, or a sexy nurse’s outfit) will give you both a chance to play out a fantasy with lowered inhibitions.
7. Take turns. Make foreplay more fun by turning it into a giver-and-receiver game. Decide how much time to spend on each person, and take turns doing whatever you or your partner wants. Then switch. Bonus: Pleasing your partner can turn you on even more.
8. Just go for it. When in doubt, take the reins. If you’re a wanting more novelty, it’s great to be a little bold and assertive. Just slow down and kiss your partner before changing positions so it doesn’t seem like you’re totally dissing their moves.