Ariana Grande's Got One Less Problem Without You
Maybe you’re obsessed with her music, or maybe you like to pretend you’re not obsessed with her music, but it looks like Ariana Grande is the pint-sized singer to know these days. If you had a song of the summer, there’s a 50 percent chance her pipes were featured in it. And if you spent your entire summer strategically avoiding top 40 radio and writing reviews for BIRP! you still probably heard some of the haterade Grande’s been getting in the press at the least.
On the surface, there’s nothing distinctly unlikeable about Grande. She’s reasonably talented, likes cats, and, from what my 15-year-old brother tells me is, “really hot.” But none of this really matters of course, because what is the Internet if not a place for trolls and creeps to do what they do best: find something to complain about it anyway. It’s a cycle, and it’s unfortunate, but no matter your personal feelings about Grande and her music, it’s time to disengage and move on.
At 21, Grande has already done her fair share of acting, as the baby-voiced Cat Valentine on wildly successful kids series Victorious and Sam & Cat. It’s not like Grande was serving audiences Emmy-worthy performances, but what were you doing at 17? Probably still learning to accept that life was not a Disney Channel Original Movie and that you weren’t going to be “discovered” at your local mall any time soon.
The negative rumors started when word got around about the star’s “diva” attitude. Sparked by a series of shady tweets, (as all modern drama is), word began to circulate that diva-like outbursts lead to the end of Grande’s work relationship with her life coach Isaac Capito. E! News anchor, Giuliana Rancic also confirmed witnessing Grande’s high maintenance demands. But if the only support America needs is two people who get paid to encourage delusion as a lifestyle, there may be a larger issue at hand.
Is Ariana Grande running around in body tape, riding inflatable penises, or telling us about the personal preferences of Big Sean’s Anaconda? No. Do her tweets read like a list of marijuana-induced epiphanies, and her Instagram like a steady stream of uncomfortable bedroom selfies? Hardly. My point being, Grande sticks with what she knows works best for her: ponytails, skater skirts, thigh highs, and apparently only allowing herself to be photographed from her left side. Is this excessive? Probably. But when that many people are zooming in on the asymmetry of your eyebrow hairs, selling your good side is more than a preference. It’s common sense.
Given the histories of other child actresses and pop stars, it’s probably best to stop heckling Grande in hopes of finding someone to replace the Amanda Bynes-shaped hole in our hearts. We should be grateful she’s yet to do something truly offensive and revisit the subject in three years when the Bieber effect kicks in.
Besides, you try getting Mariah comparisons and not turning into a diva.