Bye Bye Winter Blues


BY: Aubrey Schopinsky

The nippy air, heightening chill, and appearance of snowflakes have caused a whirlwind of panic on campus. Upperclassmen and northerners brace themselves for the months that will ensue and freshman and southerners don their twenty-five layers and marvel at what they will grow to despise. It’s official: winter is here and is here to stay. Until April.

Once the excitement of the first snowfall dies away, snow becomes less of a wonder and more of a disaster. It’s almost as if our moods match the color of the sludge we trudge through on our way to class. Leaving the dorms becomes the ultimate struggle as the slim hours of daylight are spent in lecture halls and the library. This so called “winter blues” is really the definition of our typical first world problems, but it doesn’t mean we have to stay cooped up in our freezing dorms, contemplating hibernation. Get outside and use those coats made for the tundra that you’ve gleaned from your parents—around here, if you look cute, you’re probably cold.

  1. Embrace the winter chill—not only does it cause your eyes to get all watery and twinkly, it also hides the fact that you haven’t been sober for five hours. The once tell-tale sign of drunkenness in your red cheeks can simply be waved away with the wind whipping at 20 miles an hour down Comstock. Remember, the wind is the one thing that will always take your breath away. Dreamy.
  2. If the endless ice patches threatening your life just aren’t doing it for you, do what we humans do best. Live in denial for just a few minutes each week, and take a trip to the tanning booth. Pop in your ear buds and let the warm, UV rays give your skin the glow it needs to look less sickly, and try to remember what it’s like to be warm. Ignorance really is bliss—especially if you’re living with lake effect snow.
  3. Take advantage of your favorite coffee shop’s festive seasonal drinks. Who can say no to a peppermint mocha latte? They even make them skinny for you twig bitches. Not only do these seasonal drinks warm your hands and throat, they brighten your spirits and remind you that happiness is just a sip away.
  4. Decorate your dorm and apartment. Get creative and DIY. No matter what holiday you celebrate, festive lights always brighten the mood and make you feel like break is just around the corner.
  5. It’s that time of the year for Glade plug-ins or candles, for those of you who like to live dangerously. Not only does it make your room smell nice, but it takes away the scent of last night’s take-out and reminds you of your grandma.

So stop calling Netflix your friend and only leaving your room to eat shitty dining hall food or microwaving macaroni in your apartment. Attack winter with the bitchiness and class of Regina George; because you SO go here.

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