Celebrate Halloween With the Creepiest of Songs

Happy Halloween, Syracuse! In honor of the holiday, prepare to be haunted by the creepiest of the creepy. I’m not talking about ghosts and zombies — I’m talking about the musicians and songs that will give us all nightmares.

“John Wayne Gacy. Jr.” by Sufjan Stevens

If you completely ignore the lyrics of this song, you might be lulled into a false sense of security because, my God, is it soothing. However, listen closely, “look beneath the floorboards,” and you get the story of a maniacal serial killer who lured in young boys by dressing as a clown. Anyone else currently having visions of Twisty the clown from the current season of American Horror Story? As if clowns weren’t terrifying enough, thank you AHS and Sufjan for only making my fear that much worse.

“Slow Motion” by Third Eye Blind

This is a far cry from the classic Third Eye Blind song “Jumper.” This song laments the dark and depressing lives of young teens. Some of the creepiest points of the song include references to flesh exploding, nose bleeding, and coke cut with Drano. You might be think to yourself… what the hell am I listening to? While the song is obviously disturbing, listeners should be aware that this song is a social commentary about the glamorization of drugs and violence in the entertainment industry.

I incite murder for your entertainment 'Cause I needed the money What's your excuse? The joke's on you

So deep, right?

“Prisoner” by Jeffree Star

Jeffree Star looks like he dresses for Halloween every day, so it’s only appropriate that he’s made it onto this list. Off the bat, his song “Prisoner” starts off with him whispering lyrics about how he followed a girl home and then “crept into your room while you slept.” Okay, cool your jets, Jeffree, that’s license for a restraining order. And if you’re batshit and think that’s romantic cause he’s desperately in love with the girl, just know that he promises that he has the “worst intentions.” Jeffree Star, I’ll be seeing you in my nightmares.

Slipknot…

That is all. They’re scary as hell. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s change the subject.

“Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke feat. Pharell & T.I.

Robin Thicke in general makes me feel profoundly uncomfortable and “Blurred Lines” crossed the line. Everything about the song gives off rapey vibes. I mean… it’s about the blurred lines of consent soooo I don’t really know how else to describe it. T.I. only makes it worse by asserting that he’ll “give you something big enough to tear your ass in two.” I’m sorry, what? That line out of all the other cringe-worthy lines in the song is by far the most terrifying. If the girl wasn’t sure about going home with you before, I’m pretty sure the promise of severe gluteal injury definitely has her running for the hills.

Hope this trick has been a treat. Happy Halloween!