Our Fantasy Lineup of Block Party Headliners
An inside source from Syracuse University’s University Union, the organization responsible for hosting all the musical events we love to get trashed for, has confirmed that the lineup for 2017’s Block Party will be announced tomorrow. Though we have until April 28th to get our liquor and lace bralettes ready, we only have hours left to speculate about who we’d want to see follow up Chance the Rapper’s and The Chainsmoker’s epic performances from last spring before our dreams are drowned out by reality. Not that we don’t have total faith in UU’s concert curating skills (cough, cough, 50 Cent), but there’s nothing wrong with doing a little fantasizing to hold us over until it’s appropriate to partake in #TequilaThursday festivities.
Here are some of the artists we’d like to see live (and why) in the 315 for Block Party.
… because his new album is rumored to drop tomorrow. Maybe he partnered up with SU to do a lineup announcement/album release event? Hopefully K. Dot makes good on his promise for new music, because there’s an undeniable charisma to his sound that’s been missing from the hip-hop scene lately. As a performer he’s fun, isn’t afraid to get political and, most admirably, stresses the value of community. Plus, he knows us. He was here circa Juice Jam 2013, so he’s definitely still got connects in UU. He just seems like the most obvious choice to headline.
… because we’ve definitely all got issues, and she’s got them, too. The Bieber, Timberlake and Selena songwriter took a popstar-making hiatus and went solo earlier this year with hit single Issues. We promise you’ve heard it on the radio. She kind of sounds like a millennial Sia, minus the Cruella de Vil wig. Michaels is preparing for her highly anticipated debut EP, so maybe—just maybe—we’d get to say we heard it here first. Even if you don’t know her name now, you will soon.
… because literally no one seems to know his real name, and mystery is sexy. Right? Outside of his famous ‘do, Michael Jackson-like falsetto and moody vibes, The Weeknd is selling out arenas like no other. The Weeknd is all but guaranteed to seduce the entire ‘Cuse population with steamy, NSFW lyrics. Every Block Party deserves a happy ending, after all.
… because we’re begging for mercy, too. From this semester, that is. Though the singer/songwriter is outside of the EDM and hip-hop sphere that tends to monopolize Block Party, he certainly knows how to work a crowd. He’s also been working with John Mayer, creating potential for a panty-dropping, two-for-one deal. Insert tongue emojis here. And yes, Mendes is 18 so that’s totally not creepy, like at all.
… because it’s only a four hour drive from Toronto. The Canadian rapper is at the top of his game with recently released playlist More Life climbing up the charts. Plus, something about his lyrics seem to resonate with college students. “I don't really give a fuck and my excuse is that I'm young” totally defends the fact that Netflix is way higher up on your list of priorities than finishing your paper that's due at midnight.
… because as far as SU is concerned, he has an out-standing IOU.
As of now, rumors of rapper Travis Scott earning the headliner slot seem to have the most momentum. But who knows? With the single that SU alum Drew Taggart debuted in the Dome approximately a year ago still in Billboard’s Top 20, seeing the former frat star behind “Closer” again isn’t off the table. When it comes to Block Party, anything is possible.
(Tweet us at @jerkmagazine and let us know your fantasy Block Party headliner.)