How to Dress Like the Water Bottle That’s Sexier Than You


If you’re like me, you hate tight clothing, and would probably rather live in a Snuggie than ever have to feel the wrath of a wrap dress. Although comfy as anything, this attire isn’t particularly appropriate for like, life. Thus, I bring you the latest trend to base your style off of (because lord knows we can’t create it ourselves). Here comes the most alluring BPA-free water bottle out there – the S’well Bottle. Sleek, lean, and of course, sexy as a Victoria’s Secret model, this water bottle takes on a multitude of designs. Each bottle comes with its own attitude, and when you hold it, you obviously reflect that. So, if this is what all the hip kids are carrying, might as well make something of it. Find a look you like? Click it and shop it. Snake Skin


I’ve been informed that snakeskin is no longer just for your mom’s purse from the ‘70s or for your sister’s shoes that she swears are “vintage chic.” It’s now for water bottles. And if you want to get on trend, you’d better suck it up and get your snake on. It doesn’t matter where you want to put it. Personally, I prefer the snakeskin phone case cause it makes me look badass, when really I’m probably just drooling over some serious food porn on Instagram.



leavesDon’t be that girl who wears weed leaves on every pair of socks and hat – like we get it, you smoke. Stand out as a cooler more high-class leaf. If you want to look classy with a slight edge, become one with nature (and the ESF students) and wear some leaves. You don’t need to deck yourself out from head to toe, but a nice touch of some green here and there might actually make you look more alive, cause, like, plants are alive…



woodChannel your inner juice-cleansing, yoga pants wearing, “I run for fun not to work out” vegan self. (I know she’s hiding in there somewhere) Take on a boho-chic look. This faux teakwood bottle gives you the wood look without actually harming any trees – so you’re basically David Suzuki. These earthy colors will have you feeling Zen and singing kumbaya around a camp fire.



galaxyWhoever said galaxy leggings are so 2010 can go fuck themselves, because this water bottle is proving that you can look out of this world in aggressive metallic blue. Make any outfit instantly more eye-catching by adding a little reflective pizzazz to it. Don’t be afraid to experiment with makeup, too. Blue lips are not exclusive to hypothermia; it can be a fashion statement!



Black and White Spots

black-whiteThis cute and flirty water bottle gives a youthful look to black and white. Even if nothing even remotely colorful lives in your closet, you don’t need to look like you’re going on a spy mission every day. Black and white can be peppy and lovable—just look at how delightful Kate Spade is. Get cheerful without getting colorful. It’s the perfect way to get some style while also staying (way, way, way) inside your comfort zone.


goldYou’ll be seen from the 21st floor of Lawrinson if you take on the gold S’well bottle inspired look. It’s impossible not to feel like a fucking queen in gold. Everything looks better when it’s sparkling, so I don’t see why your outfit would have to be any different. Blind the haters with your ultra-bright radiant outfit. I highly recommend wearing this to an exam you haven’t studied for. Gold medal for showing up and looking fly as fuck.



Yes, of course there is an orange Swell bottle, and yes you do need it. No question about it. I don’t think that there’s a better tailgate accessory than this. Get your orange gear on and make this your accomplice. People have a misconception that orange is just a blah color, but bring the attitude with these outfit options that aren’t just your basic tailgate-tees.




Every basic bitch needs marble. If you’re going for the basic bitch look (which, honestly, is a fully legit look. 10/10 I sport that on the daily) then you need a marble S’well bottle. I actually don’t think you could get any more basic unless you’ve poured a fucking PSL into it. If you’re not down for the basic look of marble, spice it up with an adventurous marble skirt, `cause I know Kylie hasn’t worn that.

Style, CultureEmmy GnatComment