Jerk’s Syracuse University Bitch List (...for now)


Photo courtesy of Syracuse University has been my home for the last 3+ years, and I can’t help but love it. With the beautiful buildings, stellar pride, and an awesomely located Pita Pit, this place wins me over on most days...but sometimes I simply can’t figure out some of the annoying choices Syracuse University has made. So here’s to venting one last time (maybe) before I graduate.


The Bird Library Doors

Once night comes, the Bird Library campus-facing doors lock, making the Waverly Street entrance the only point of entry, and leaves countless students confused. Arguably, students in dorms use the library most often. Whether it’s to get away from their small rooms and roommates who can’t seem to learn what headphones are. So why does the door closest to them close? Wouldn’t SU rather have people walking in from campus than off the main street? Sketchy.

Lattes don’t count for coffee card punches

Sometimes you need a little more than coffee to get you through the day, but spending an extra few cents on a Dunkin Donut Latte from Schine only makes you feel like you made the wrong call when your coffee card doesn’t get punched. If I am spending more money on espresso shouldn’t you theoretically reward me more for buying your coffee?

Coughing up change for utensils

How Food Services deals with money in general never makes much sense, but it was still a surprise when I heard that (and likely other school cafes) started charging people upwards of a dime for plastic utensils. Out of my strong sense of self-dignity I will be now using my fingers for those mini-salads.

College Place vs. University Place

How on earth am I supposed to remember which is which? College versus University is hard enough, but both ‘place’ and both right next to one another? This doesn’t seem like it was properly thought through. I don’t think I have ever met someone at the right stop for the bus.

School classroom temperatures

As if the outdoor temperature couldn’t be more insane, once we get inside for class the room’s temperature is all out of whack too. I have to wear a t-shirt in the winter to survive the jacked up boiler, and a sweater in the summer/spring to avoid the icy A.C. Hey SU, maybe you wouldn’t have to charge me for utensils if you saved money on a more steady building temperature.

No outdoor tables

I know we only get a few months of outside weather here at SU, but when we do we can’t get enough of it. Grass stains from sitting on the quad are worth it. I would love to spend more time sitting outside doing my work and eating my lunch, but there are no outdoor tables on campus! Good thing we paid for 1000 new benches on the promenade though. So worth it.

Only ⅓ of the course catalogue being offered

As if MySlice and course registration couldn’t be terrible enough, more than half of the time I try to sign up for classes when they don’t even exist. I’ve been trying to sign up for “Jewish Humor and Satire” for three years now, because who doesn’t want to get credit for watching Jonah Hill movies and Jerry Seinfeld stand up? Hopefully none of you, because it isn’t ever offered.


Well, with everything said, I still love you ‘Cuse. But please try to make more intuitive decisions in the future because some of these choices seem totally avoidable.

CultureSammy MonkComment