Sexy Halloween Costumes That Simply Should Not Exist

Photo by Adham Elsharkawi

It’s that time of year again. The time of year when Comstock Ave. is scattered with bunnies, cats, devils, angels, nurses, and “school girls” that all happen to be sporting stilettos and garter belts. That’s right, it’s Halloween.

Spooky-turned-sexy drunk girls screaming for their friend Becky to walk faster in her heels so they can make it to their frat party on time has tainted the once fond memories you have of going door-to-door collecting candy in pillow cases. In the forever accurate words of Cady Heron, “In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” Dressing up for Halloween is fun, and can be a really creative opportunity, if you choose to steer away from the basic sexy costume. However, mixing creativity and sexiness almost never ends well.

Here are some “Sexy” Halloween costumes that deserve to die.

1. "Sexy" Finding Nemo.

Guys, like come on. Nemo is literally a disabled fish and should not be sexualized.

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.31.02 PM

2. "Sexy" Bikini Bottom

Anyone ever made the "Krabs" in "Bikini Bottom" connection? Or maybe even the "Sandy Cheeks" in "Bikini Bottom?" Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.32.29 PM

3. "Sexy" Corn

Why do good people do such bad things?

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.33.37 PM

4. "Sexy" Nun

Are we confessing sins or just plain sinning here?

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.35.35 PM

5. Sexy Jellyfish

Really unsure about this one guys. Jellyfish don't have eyes, so.Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.38.11 PM

6. "Sexy" Fast Food

Definitely not lovin' it.

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.40.07 PM

7. "Sexy" Bacon

Sizzle, sizzle, stop.

Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.41.28 PM

8. "Sexy" Minion

Minion mania, am I right guys?Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.45.15 PM

9. "Sexy" Yoda

“This is why you fail” -Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back Screen Shot 2015-10-25 at 12.45.58 PM

10. "Sexy" Yoshi

“Become every Mario Brother’s dream in this sexy Yoshi costume.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to wear a video game character on the top of their head?

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Overall, let’s keep it to the bunnies, cats, devils, angels, nurses, and “school girls.” But say your best friend needs a sexy carrot to go along with her sexy bunny, don’t worry there’s a costume for that.

SexplainedThe EditorsComment