Sexy Halloween Costumes That Simply Should Not Exist
It’s that time of year again. The time of year when Comstock Ave. is scattered with bunnies, cats, devils, angels, nurses, and “school girls” that all happen to be sporting stilettos and garter belts. That’s right, it’s Halloween.
Spooky-turned-sexy drunk girls screaming for their friend Becky to walk faster in her heels so they can make it to their frat party on time has tainted the once fond memories you have of going door-to-door collecting candy in pillow cases. In the forever accurate words of Cady Heron, “In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” Dressing up for Halloween is fun, and can be a really creative opportunity, if you choose to steer away from the basic sexy costume. However, mixing creativity and sexiness almost never ends well.
Here are some “Sexy” Halloween costumes that deserve to die.
1. "Sexy" Finding Nemo.
Guys, like come on. Nemo is literally a disabled fish and should not be sexualized.
2. "Sexy" Bikini Bottom
3. "Sexy" Corn
Why do good people do such bad things?
4. "Sexy" Nun
Are we confessing sins or just plain sinning here?
5. Sexy Jellyfish
6. "Sexy" Fast Food
Definitely not lovin' it.
7. "Sexy" Bacon
Sizzle, sizzle, stop.
8. "Sexy" Minion
9. "Sexy" Yoda
10. "Sexy" Yoshi
“Become every Mario Brother’s dream in this sexy Yoshi costume.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to wear a video game character on the top of their head?
Overall, let’s keep it to the bunnies, cats, devils, angels, nurses, and “school girls.” But say your best friend needs a sexy carrot to go along with her sexy bunny, don’t worry there’s a costume for that.