Study Says Selfies Make You Happy...duh

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, and according to a new study, a selfie a day can keep the therapist away. This is according to a bunch of researchers at the University of California, Irvine, who, like many, probably got tired of feeling ashamed to take selfies in public. Yu Chen, the lead author on this study, says their research shows “happiness via smartphone picture taking, and sharing can lead to increased positive feelings for those who engage in it.” Her words, not mine. But like, yeah, duh.

Now, I’m not a doctor, researcher, scientist, or anything of the sort. Ever since taking high school chemistry, I declared that to be my very last encounter with science, but I am an avid selfie-taker. I most certainly can vouch for this research/common understanding that selfies invoke various feelings in their photographers, and go beyond simple happiness. Such sentiments are results of the various types of selfies we take.

The "I Look Good Right Now and This Is a Rarity So I Should Probably Document It" Selfie: Confidence

It’s important to record such a joyous occasion because who knows how often such a circumstance will come along? If you’ve got it, flaunt it, and don’t let anything stand in your way…except for that pole you’re about to walk into.

The Attention Whore Selfie: Accommodating and Considerate

These photographers’ substantial social media following leads to a false sense of celebritism, a condition I just made up in which they think they are celebrities and feel the need to document all aspects of the mundane activities they “participate” in. A prominent way to diagnose this is when someone refers to their social media followers as their “fans.” This type of selfie is straightforward and excessive, posting one picture after the other so their fans get the point. The feeling of being accommodating and considerate stem from the notion of being famous. This person thinks that others genuinely want to see what they ate for breakfast this morning their #OOTD, their process of picking out their #OOTD, and every other waking second of their lives.

The Purposeful Selfie: Productivity

This type of selfie was taken for a reason, and that’s usually made pretty evident within the .3 seconds of attention it’ll be given. It can be similar to the “I look good right now and this is a rarity so I should probably document it” selfie, in the sense that the photographer looks exceptionally pleasing in the photo, but usually the selfie’s purpose was intended to make someone jealous. The Purposeful Selfie is taken with the intentions of sending a message, because a picture is worth a thousand words, but no one has time for that. For example, why bother texting a friend from home that you just met one of their camp friend’s best friend’s home friend’s cousins, when you can just post a selfie with them? You wouldn’t. To post this to social media is a PSA declaring the new friendship, and furthermore, posting a selfie with your significant other is basically like throwing a wedding shower.

The “I Just Discovered Another Camera On My Phone” Selfie: Accomplishment

Usually parents or grandparents are the ones taking these types of selfies. They are either cheesing harder than a wheel of cheddar, or visibly concentrating harder than you when the professor says, “I’m just going to start calling on random people.” As they are now pleased to be part of the trend, you’ll start receiving excessive amounts of these selfies as your data plan goes quicker than the amount in your bank account.

The Bragging Selfie: Superiority

Any selfie involving something that is desirable by others or greater than what others may have is considered The Bragging Selfie. Carefully placing your face in front of a scenic backdrop, but avoiding it from being covered by the geotag, is one of the most common of these selfies. Like, we get it, you’re abroad. Or maybe you took a selfie with a pile of books and endless notes, but do you have to study with the Bird Library geotag? You’re bragging. Got engaged and took a selfie with the ring? You’re bragging.

The Competitive Ugliness: Relief

There are so many more bad angles than good ones when it comes to taking selfies, and sometimes you just have to give in. If you’ve never had chin competitions with your friends, you’re lying. The whole idea behind The Competitive Ugliness selfie is that no matter how ugly you may be, you can always make yourself look uglier, and thank God you’re not actually that unfortunate looking.

So keep on taking those selfies, and may the lighting be forever in your favor.