The Top 5 Reasons Why Winter Sucks in Syracuse

Prior to attending Syracuse University, I thought that I had a solid idea of what the weather was like. I prepared myself for the worst: The dreary skies, the early everlasting darkness, the chill, and the Christmas card flurries that would totally get old. Besides, if the winters in Syracuse really were as unbearable as people claimed, why would SU’s mascot be a tropical fruit?

Rest assured: Nothing can prepare you for Syracuse weather.

Slowly but surely, warm days sharpened into nippy ones. The cute sporty jacket that I used to don didn’t quite cut it anymore. I started stocking up on scarves and downloading additional weather apps. Next, I was intent on never leaving my dorm. I didn’t really need to study at Bird Library. I didn’t really need Chipotle. Shortly after, I considered taking up Spanish so that I could move to Cancun and never see a day below 60 degrees again.

If in these next few months you abandon your nest of blankets, Netflix and Doritos to brave the cruel world that is Syracuse University, I commend you. But for those who don’t face the real world equivalent of living at the Westeros Wall, here’s the top five reasons why winter sucks in Syracuse.

1. The wind is a threat to your safety and well-being. The treacherous squalls of Syracuse really don’t give a shit about your rad scarf or expensive wide-brim floppy American Apparel hat. All the wind cares about is ripping your face off and demonstrating the significance of wind-chill in a weather forecast.

2. Your hair turns into icicles. Calculated snooze time never quite works out, and a simple post-shower walk across main campus will do just the trick. Be confident and own the frosty look, but then regret it later when you end up with the flu.

3. You constantly need to moisturize. Lotion and conditioner are your best friends. If you want to look kissable as opposed to a White Walker, then you need to hit up CVS for some lip balm.

4. You never know what to wear to a party The only reprieve from the misery of Syracuse’s gloomy weather and rigorous academic grind is the party scene and even there, winter’s frigid fingers have a hold. When your squad assembles to head out to Marathon or a frat, you want to look like a Kardashian or a Hemsworth — not like an extra from Fargo. Syracuse weather usually offers two looks: Salty L.L.Bean model or poster child for the warming effects of alcohol. Any partygoer that looks really good in a winter coat is rare and blessed and deserves extra points.

And of course, there is one winter experience that is rite of passage for SU students...

5. The Grand Wipe Outs. If an SU student falls on the quad, and no one is around to YikYak about it, did they really fall? (I’m asking for a friend.)

Students at SU must face the cold, hard facts. It doesn’t matter what kind of shoes you’re rocking because whether you're hustling to discussion or wrapped up in SU’s Snapchat story or trying to catch the bus to South, you'll probably still slip and eat frozen dirt. Get up with grace and maturity – don’t look like a freshman and cry about it. If you have any broken bones, shake it off. Hopefully, you are lucky enough to have a Canada Goose coat with a six-inch-thick cushion of feathers to break your fall.

Photo by Adham Elsharkawi