The Week: What You Missed


Sunday, April 10 | Applebee’s got a 15-month-old wasted by accidentally serving him a cup filled with a margarita instead of apple juice. The kiddo had a BAC level of .10. Well, that’s one way of putting him down for a nap.

Insomnia Cookies raises their prices to $1.10 for a cookie instead of $1. Who the fuck carries around dimes? Oh, wait…

Monday, April 11 | A San Francisco judge ruled that the Winklevii cannot back out of the settlement they reached in 2008 with Mark Zuckerberg. In other FB news, a guy named Paul Ceglia files new evidence in the claim he owns 50% of the company.

An Indonesian politician whose party sponsors anti-porn legislation resigned after he was caught watching porn in Parliament on his tablet computer. Fucking politicians.

Tuesday, April 12 | RIP the Flip video camera.

Donald Trump is tied with Mike Huckabee for the lead in the Republican presidential primary race, according to a CNN poll. Let’s remember, this is the guy who says he'll create “the best weapons ever” as commander in chief. See proof below.

Wednesday, April 13 | Oprah is charging $1 million for ads on the May 25 finale of her show, which will feature an interview with the Obamas. This amount is more than last year’s finales of Lost ($900,000) and 24 ($650,000), even though Oprah has a smaller audience.

It’s not exactly the pledge of allegiance: 700 students at a school in southwest China do Michael Jackson dance moves every morning to get them ready for the day. Stop trying to pretend your schools are fun, China.

Thursday, April 14 | The House and Senate passed the compromise legislation to fund the government for the rest of the fiscal year, with 59 House Republicans breaking ranks to vote against the deal.

We’re mildly worried that super-intelligent chimpanzees may soon threaten human existence. But we’re too distracted by James Franco in Rise of the Planet of the Apes to really do anything about it right now.

Friday, April 15 | In other movie news: Scre4m (aka Scream 4).