Wet and Wild: A Beginner's Guide to Shower Sex

Photo by Erica Mack Everyone loves a long hot shower, right? You get to relax, wash your hair and clean your body. What could be better? Dirty shower sex. That's what.

Here is everything you need to know about getting sexy in the shower.

Size does matter.

Whoever said that size doesn’t matter is a dirty, dirty liar. However, the size I’m talking about is probably not the size you’re thinking of (get your mind out of the gutter). The most important thing when it comes to shower sex is positioning. Your height ratio in this relation truly matters. A tall boy with a shorter girl is the most ideal size pairing, but some things never seem to work. If your partner is around the same size as you you’re going to have to get creative with their “legwork.” I'd suggest placing one partners leg up on something for stability and easy access.

There will be water, everywhere.

In an ideal world your lady friend is wet and ready to go at all times, but in the shower it is wet everywhere (that's how showers work). Navigating these treacherous waters is not easy—water will get into your eyes, you may slip and fall, and you may even get a mouth full of water. Embrace it and try to avoid making a complete fool of yourself.

It’s a slippery slope.

As mentioned before, the shower involves water so it is bound to get a little slippery. Make sure you’re grounded and try not to move around too much. I know there will be thrusting involved, but keep a firm stance. If you need motivation to try your best to stay balanced, try to remember that breaking your ankle while naked in front of someone is not sexy.

Don't be afraid to do it in dorms.

Shower sex is easiest when you feel safe in knowing for a fact that Becky from down the hall is not going to walk in to take her morning deuce and hear your matched moaning. If you’re an exhibitionist, maybe you want Becky to hear. Maybe Becky wants to hear.

Using protection is very much still a thing.

Yes, you still need to wear a condom in the shower. Shower sex does not shield you from STIs, STDs, pregnancy or even worse—dorm shower germs. Protect yourself before you wreck yourself.

Keep it sexy and slippery my friends.