What The Cashiers at The Corner Store Probably Think About Their Customers
If you go to Syracuse University or have even stepped on campus once, you have definitely heard someone talk about "The Corner Store." It's is a magical place, where everything you could ever dream of is thrown together into one small convenience store, located (plot twist) on the corner of a couple sketchy Syracuse streets.
You name it, The Corner Store has it.
Frozen TV dinners? Yes.
Scarves and hats? Yes.
Not-so-fresh fruit? Yes.
School Supplies? Yes.
This joint is open for what seems like all hours of the day, so the amazing men who work there have quiet literally seen it all. They have probably encountered every type of person that roams the planet, so they're basically psychologists at this point. There is no doubt these guys can tell if you're there for microwaveable popcorn or a Natty Daddy as soon as you step through the door.
This is what the cashiers probably think about people who come into their store.
“We see all six of you huddled in the back of the store by the cleaning supplies. No, we don’t think you’re having a healthy debate about which paper towels are more absorbent. With that nervous look on your face, it is clear you are trying to remember the address of your fake ID. Come on, dude pull it together. You got into college so it shouldn’t be that hard to remember the zip code of Darien, Connecticut.”
The Frat Bro
“Every Thursday afternoon this guy is here like clock work. Will he ever not buy eight cases of beer and a Smirnoff ice? He says he buys the ice because it's his "brother's" birthday, but he totally drinks it himself, casually. Honestly it’s a refreshing cocktail. Did he just come from the gym or does he always wear cut-off tank tops in February?”
The Real Person
“Compared to all the other degenerates, this dude looks like he has his life together. He is wearing scrubs, probably just finished a shift at the hospital, saving lives and shit. All he is buying is a pack of gum, an energy drink, and a TV dinner? No alcohol? Wow. Definition of class.”
“Wasn’t she here yesterday? Is she ever not here? She always comes in here and buys the same case of beer. Do you think her liver is going to be okay? What about her GPA? Does she ever drink water? Can I get an invite to the party?”
The Drunk Skunk
“Seriously, it is 1 a.m. and we are about to close. I have a life and don’t want to be here anymore. Oh great, there he goes, he slipped down the stairs. Haha, karma for coming in here at closing. I feel a little better now. Wait, fuck. He's not getting up.”
The amount of foot traffic The Corner Store sees should make it an off campus landmark. Seriously, it should really be included in the on the campus tours we give perspective students. And the guys who work there should be spotlighted on the university’s website for all the insane people they're forced to put up with. Remember the next time you go into The Corner Store. Don't waste your time wondering if they're judging you... they are.