Worst Throwback Halloween Movies
We are a generation that grew up on Disney. There was no greater time of year than fall because that meant Disney would be playing its Halloween movies on loop. But for every great Halloween movie there is a shitty one that Disney seemed to drop the ball on.
We at Jerk think it’s only fair to honor Disney for all of the joy (and nightmares) they brought to us…by ranking the worst Halloween movies ever created by them.
Here are the worst Disney Halloween movies ranked:
1. Halloweentown High
The kids in the first Halloweentown grew up and turned into awkward teenagers. There probably haven’t been so many puberty stricken teens in one movie since. Instead of accepting the greatness of the first two movies, Disney decided to make as much money out of this franchise as possible by adding another movie.
2. Return to Halloweentown
Remember the main character Marnie? So lively, cool, and full of witch powers? Well you wont find her in this movie. Some exec at Disney decided to replace the actress who played Marnie with some generic knockoff. Replacing the OG Marnie is like your mom buying Hunt’s Ketchup and trying to pass it off as Heinz. Yes, it is still ketchup, but it tastes different and you refuse to put it on your burger.
We don’t know what is more upsetting: the fact that the real Marnie wasn’t in this movie or that Disney thought the audience wouldn’t notice changing the main character.
So you’re telling me that Tia and Tamara Mowery play two twins who were separated at birth, only to end up finding each other and realize that they are twins? Hmm, sounds a little familiar *cough, cough… Sister, Sister*
The difference is that “Sister, Sister” was a good show and “Twitches” is a cheesy mess. These two “twitches” have to fight off the “darkness” to save their home planet in a different dimension… The most overdone plot of all time in movies.
4. Twitches Too
The only thing worse than the first “Twitches” is that Disney decided to make a second.
5. The Nightmare Before Christmas
If a movie could have an identity crisis it would be this one. No holiday movie should be centered around two holidays, especially two holidays as big as Christmas and Halloween. It just seems so wrong. Both Christmas and Halloween deserve their own movies. They should not be clumped together because some random skeleton decided that he no longer wants to celebrate Halloween anymore.
6. Don’t Look Under the Bed
This movie caused kids everywhere to have trust issues. After seeing this movie, beds were no longer a comfy place to sleep, but a place for monsters to hide under. You never knew when a monster underneath your bed was going to get you.
How was Disney channel allowed to play this movie? It seemed to create nightmares—not entertainment.
At the end of the day, we know you’ll all rewatch these movies around this time of the year anyways. Just remember to appreciate the clichés and pay due respect to some of the legendary ones as well.